song_of_ice | Duplicity Inbox

[ Christine cannot even pretend to fathom whatever must be happening- though from the sounds of things, it's all a bit unnecessarily crass. She sets her water down after a sip and nods her head slowly. ]

If you need to talk, all you have to do is ask.

[ And so she would also let the topic slide- not intending to put too much pressure on him to continue with it.

She grants him a small smile at the question and rolls her shoulders in a small shrug. ]

It was an interesting party- but quite overwhelming, if I'm being perfectly honest. I don't know that I could attend another like it anytime soon.

[ She was a decent actress, but sometimes these things were just too much for her delicate Victorian sensibilities. ]

[He gave a half hearted smile, grateful for the offer, but needing her presence more. He shifted on the couch, encouraging her to sit next to him.]

No, I don't think I will either. [He might not have gone in the first place, but it was for Lucrezia. He had his limits to openly sexual places.] The city will find a way to give us another situation like that, but maybe not for some time?

[But that was something to think about later.]

I should have waited for you before coming home. I'm sorry.

[ Christine didn't need to be outright told- the way he shifted invitation enough for her to sit next to him. She held her hand out, the gesture a subtle invitation for him to hold if he should need to do so. ]

Perhaps not- though you know better than I how often these situations come up.

[ At the apology, she shakes her head and smiles, gentler and easier this time. ]

No, please, don't worry. I understand that these things happen, Jon. You don't have to apologize.

[He took it, curling his fingers around hers as he let her presence soak into his core. It may not take away the pain and betrayal, but he was at least calm and soothed.]

I put us in an awkward situation.

[He, Lucrezia and Christine. All three of them trying to live in this arrangement.]

You don't blame me?

[ Christine wouldn't lie- it wasn't an easy arrangement for her to comfortable with. And though she only really knows the tip of the iceberg, she could appreciate that none of his was easy.

Especially for him.

She gave his fingers a squeeze before covering his hand on hers with her other hand. ]

How could I? Nothing you do is out of malice...

[ And that's the only time she could truly be upset with him or blame him for anything.

She doesn't blame him for the situation or for leaving without her. ]

[He wished he didn't have to live this way or that the city forced them into these uncomfortable situations. It spoke a lot about those who found a way to make it worth and the level of trust that they were willing to give.

He considered his words carefully.]

I want you to know that I won't take another submissive. I don't want you to feel that you mean nothing to me. I care about you.

[ She watched their hands during the pause- not even glancing up at him until he said he cares about her.

Her gaze snapped back up to his face, her eyes searching his for a moment- unsure of what she was really looking for. ]

Jon...

[ As carefully as he chose his words, she struggled to choose hers. ]

You don't... [ Carefully. ] You don't have to promise that. If there were another who needed your help, I wouldn't deny them the comfort of a contract just to make myself feel better.

[ In the back of her mind she knew she would expect him to follow through with his promise if it were for one other person. But she didn't dare voice this, or even dwell on the thought for too long.

Instead, she lifted his hand up to press a kiss to his knuckles. ]

I care for you too.

If there is someone who needs help, there are other ways I can offer it. If my family comes, I might have to extend an offer to them, but it wouldn't be the same. I don't need another submissive outside of this.

[He honestly liked this arrangement as it was. Being with her was easier. Christine suited him more than he thought she would. It wasn't that difficult to be drawn out of his thoughts around her and at least find some form of warmth.]

I want to promise it.

[If only to give her some level of respect and status with him, more than what the contract stated. He didn't want her to think that she could be easily discarded.

A thumb stretched to brush against her cheek and against her lips.]</small. I'm glad.

[ It's hard not to smile at that promise... At his insistence to see it through. She wished she could make a similar promise- that she wouldn't seek another dominant... But as he would change his conditions for his family, she would change them for Raoul.

As soon as she felt his thumb brush her cheek and lips, her eyes shut and she nodded. ]

I won't make you promise it, Jon. But I cannot stop you from it either.

[ She opened her eyes slowly, her smile still tugging at the corners of her lips. ]

How lucky I am to have found you, Jon Snow.

[He knew so little of those that she cared for in her world. He knew her father was dead, but there was never any talk of another man. Had he known, he might not make such a promise to her or put her in this position, but he wanted to give Christine some symbol of what she was to him.

He smiled, a bit sadly, but still smiling all the same.]

We'll have to renew eventually, but not for some time.

[But there was nowhere else he'd rather go or anyone else in his home.

Another smile.]

The city brought us together. Maybe it's not all bad?

[ The thought of renewing- of course she would hope he'd still feel the same when the time comes... But she worried still.

She took a deep breath and laughed quietly, chewing on her lip. ]

I suppose it's not too horrible, is it? We have some things to be grateful for, like each other.

[Where he might otherwise feel uncomfortable about being forced together with someone, it was natural and comfortable with Christine. He couldn't be certain, but it seemed that they would have found their way together eventually.

And, if he was honest with himself, he felt pride at being with her first.]

Are you...more used to the city now?

[ There were things here Christine was grateful for- and Jon was the top of that list. The question threw her off just a little, however.

Was she? It was hard to tell what was her putting on an act and how she truly felt anymore. ]

I think I might be. At least enough to be able to pretend I am?

[He wrapped an arm around her, drawing her closer to him. Holding her hand was one thing, but having her closer was better. She was soft and sweet and soothing to his bruised ego and heart.

He might not know what to say about everything that happened, but he could at least share this with her. The simple appreciation of being with her, uncomplicated and quiet.]

You shouldn't have to pretend, but I know I do too sometimes.

[ Christine allowed him to draw her nearer, grateful to be able to offer him this sort of comfort. She tucked herself against him and took another breath. ]

I don't know that I'll ever stop. But it does help knowing that you still pretend sometimes.

[ She doesn't feel as alone for doing so. ]

I do when I'm at places like where we were today.

[He shook his head, trying to shake the night from his mind.]

This isn't the place that I was raised to be a part of. I think sometimes my father would be disappointed in me. I've gone against what he raised me to be.

It was definitely more than I would ever be truly comfortable with.

[ But that's as much as she'll say about that- squeezing his hand slightly. ]

I don't think he would be. You're adapting to survive as best you can here. There's no reason to fault you for that.

[He couldn't agree with that and it seemed he was being punished in a way. Why else would he be faced with the level of humiliation that he's received.]

This isn't the man I wanted to be.

I have done enough things in my life I regret, but I never wanted to completely lose my honor.

I'm sorry you feel that way, Jon.

[ She's not entirely sure how she can support him- when she knows so little of everything. So, perhaps, just sitting here and listening to him will be what he needs. ]

I do not believe you are completely without your honor, for what it's worth.

[He was doing his best to open up to her, to at least share some of his thoughts. He couldn't put everything to words, but he offered her what he could.]

No? I took your honor, but I can't do anything else to make this right.

[It weighed on him, but what made it worse was that he enjoyed it and enjoyed being with her.]

[ She appreciated it- though the truth of it all is she's not normally the one offering support, but is instead the other way around. ]

Jon... [ She shifted, looking up at him and taking a deep breath. ] You are taking care of me, better than I could have even hoped for here. I couldn't ever ask more of you. I wouldn't. You only took what I gave. [ Willingly as she could, regardless of the magically tainted food. ]

[He doesn't want to linger over this for very long. If he starts doubting her decision, he would fall down a spiraling tunnel of guilt and shame. That's not what he wanted with her and it wouldn't make his time here any easier.

He could only accept what she offered.]

I'm not the best company tonight, am I?

It's late and the party was taxing at best. You're allowed.

[ She pressed her lips together and smiled gently. ]

Would you mind if I slept in your bed tonight?

[ She's more thinking that it might help him- for her to remain close. She knew that in his shoes, she wouldn't be keen on spending the night alone. ]

[And he had been tried too much tonight, both in pushing himself out of his comfort zone and by what Cesare said.

He looked up in surprise.]

No, I don't mind.

[He didn't have the heart to tell her that he might not sleep at all, but he wouldn't mind lying next to her and listen to her as she slept.

He got to his feet, offering her a hand.]

[ At the very least, she'd be able to feel if he stirs too much or needs anything.

She accepted his hand and pulled herself up, smiling softly. ]

I'll still need to change, of course.

[ The comment is light and teasing- she could just sleep in the modern undergarments under the dress, or a top of his if wanted. But she didn't dare make any assumptions about how to dress when all she intended to do was curl up next to him and sleep as he hopefully did. ]

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